Navigating Depression As A Busy College Student

Hey there, and finally, welcome back to Growing Pains! I’m very happy to finally be putting out new content on my different blog categories, but to be honest, most of my stories are simply better suited to Life, Unfiltered. However, I do intend on writing more for Growing Pains, and as new projects and goals arise, In The Making!

Now, I’d like to preface this post by mentioning that if you are struggling with your mental health, posts like these are not intended to replace professional help or diagnosis. I simply want to document my own experiences in my mental health journey to prove that life can go on, even in the darkest times.

If this content may be triggering to you, please feel free to skip this post and visit my blog page for different stories! Please stay safe out there, folks <3 

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I’ve struggled with depression as well as bulimia nervosa for the majority of my life. Many of my days are spent in bed. Some days, I have trouble preparing a simple meal for myself. Other days, I binge eat. College work goes undone, responsibilities pile up, mentors are disappointed. Doing a load of laundry zaps my energy for the entire day. Writing a single post for The Adulting Journals can take weeks.

I think it goes without saying: depression is hard. What’s harder is not simply existing and just going along for the ride, but actually living.

I won’t lie, there are many days that go by where I simply do the bare minimum to exist: I get out of bed, brush my teeth, eat, and go back to bed. This life is not sustainable, and if anything, it’s destructive. I don’t want to sit here and sugarcoat things, claiming that these simple changes have cured me and made me a more productive and happy person. Because most days, I spend a couple minutes struggling to get out of bed, I ponder whether I deserve to eat that day, and I allow depression to run my life.

But with these tiny changes I’ve begun making in my day-to-day life, I’m fighting back, and I’m putting the work into making my life better. Sometimes all we can ask of ourselves is just to try. And each day, we just have to continue trying. 

Change #1: Put Effort Into (At Least) One Meal

It’s no secret: cooking is hard. You end up with a bunch of pots and pans and plates to clean, and make a big mess of your counter. Some days, I just don’t want to prepare a full all-American breakfast, and some days, I only have the energy to eat leftovers straight out of the tupperware.

But I’ve found that putting effort into at least one of my meals each day has been a great demonstration of my sense of self-worth. While I’m preparing a meal, I repeat over and over again, “I deserve to eat a beautiful, nutritious meal.” 

Putting effort into a meal is scooping yogurt into a nice bowl with sliced strawberries and banana, rather than simply eating the yogurt straight out of the plastic cup it came in, is enough. Setting leftovers on a plate and warming it up in the oven rather than eating it cold out of the tupperware is progress. Sometimes, I might go as far as making an omelet or a soup, if my energy allows me to.

It’s a tiny and simple change, but showing yourself that you are worthy of something as small as a pretty meal is a huge step towards self-love.

Change #2: Go Outside for Five Minutes

I live in Arizona, which is practically an oven most of the year, so there’s the excuse I used for years to continue doomscrolling in my room the entire day without seeing the sun. Spoiler alert: it’s not a good enough excuse…

This summer, I’ve challenged myself to spend at least five minutes outside for at least three days of the week. Spending five minutes standing on the front porch watching the dog run around has since turned into a near-daily routine of eating breakfast on the front porch chairs with my folk punk playlist in my earbuds, watching the dog sunbathe (and sneaking him an occasional berry!), and sometimes having our three cockatiels join me in their travel cage when the weather allows. 

Sometimes, that moment is the start to a good day. Other times, it can be a highlight of a not-so-good day. Playing fetch with the dog or watching the quails and their babies scoot across the property is so peaceful. Sipping my coffee, and seeing the cardinals and hummingbirds and hawks take flight is a treat that I had rarely experienced when I stayed cooped up inside.

If I can do it during an Arizona summer, so can you!

Change #3: Stand Up! Be Active Just For Ten Minutes!

Frankly, the change I find most frustrating is forcing myself to be more active. It’s difficult to get out of bed and move your body! I know it is! But the immediate mood lift is so, so worth it.

When most people think of being active, they think of a grueling, hour-long workout that will leave you stiff in bed for the next three days. But getting active doesn’t necessarily have to be tiring, it just means you’re on your feet getting something done! A sedentary lifestyle isn’t healthy, mentally or physically, so just getting up for a couple minutes at a time could make all the difference in how you’re feeling.

During a recent bout of depression, I went from roller skating at least five days a week, to taking an entire year off. Getting back into it has been tough, and the falls have been painful, but the payoff of picking up old skills has been immensely rewarding. 

I’ve also been drawn more recently to online figure skating jump classes. It’s incredible to see the progress from my living room reflected in my skating when I’m on the ice!

Here are a few ways to get up out of bed, whether for five minutes or an hour.

And remember: Progress is progress!

• Walk or play fetch with your dog

• Roller/inline skate

• Follow a video online

  • Pilates

  • Ballet

  • Belly dancing

  • Stretch class

  • Yoga

  • Barre

  • Just Dance

• Water your houseplants

• Go outside and pick flowers (make two changes in one!)

• Cook a meal

I hope these changes can make living just the slightest bit more comfortable, even if they’re not easy changes. Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t implement multiple changes in a day or week. Progress takes time, and every change you make is benefitting you in the long term.

Crisis Helpline: Call 988

Let’s keep trying,

Alexandra