On Frankie: Why I Chose A Wolf As My First Tattoo

Hey there and welcome back to Life, Unfiltered! I don’t know where the motivation has suddenly come from but I’m currently writing this post the Thursday before the launch of Alexandra Reads and I just have so much to say!

I know I’ve certainly touched on the darker aspects of my mental health journey more recently, but I also don’t want my wins to go unnoticed!

My first tattoo was very much an immature act of defiance, as I’m sure most tattoos done before your 20’s tend to be. But I think getting it done saved me in more ways than one. 

I call him Frankie. Why did I choose that name? Well, my artist asked me if I had a name for him mid-tattoo and Frankie was the first name that came to mind….

Why did I choose a wolf? When I was scheduling my consultation, my artist asked what I wanted to get done and I panicked and said the first thing that came to mind: a wolf!

Frankie is probably the most stupid and ridiculous decision I’ve ever made. I was a senior in high school, and I wanted to finally have a win, just for ONCE. I wanted something I could be proud of, something that would make me smile every single day.

I delved deeper into my reasoning for getting a tattoo in an older post: Why I Chose To Get A Tattoo Over My Self-Harm Scars, but I never really thought too hard about just the more comedic aspects of the whole situation.

I never intended on seeing my eighteenth birthday. I was sure I’d be dead before then. So as my eighteenth birthday gift to myself, I decided a tattoo was exactly what I deserved to mark the day I realized I can do this! I can survive! 

As I’ve mentioned in my previous tattoo post, I got Frankie extended from only a snarling wolf head to a full-bodied wolf with flowers for my nineteenth birthday. It took a solid six hours with another wonderful artist who helped me turn my idea into a reality (again not mentioning his name for sake of privacy but he gave me gorgeous art and I'm so immensely grateful!!). And frankly, those were the best hours I had in a really long time. My eighteenth year held some of my lowest lows. To celebrate making it through another year by extending Frankie was absolutely HUGE for me!

When I walked into the tattoo shop at eighteen for my first ever tattoo consultation, I had an image of a grinning, snarling wolf tattoo on my phone for my artist to check out. The wolf holds no significance to me in terms of symbolism, I just went with it for fun! (Though not a recommended way to choose your first tattoo… it just worked out that way for me!)

For whatever reason, I just loved it. I loved the wolf’s prideful sneer, I knew it would be the perfect expression to cover up my scars. It was a reminder of my win! How could I not love it?

Of course I just NEEDED to get at least one yellow flower because if you can’t already tell from the theme of my entire blog… yellow is my favorite color! The second flower is orange and red and just as bold as Frankie himself.

When I’m feeling low, it’s so comforting to remember that I have Frankie. When I get self-harm urges (which do still come if you could believe it…) I think of all the other tattoos I want to get alongside Frankie. When I feel like life isn’t worth it, I think of the friend who encouraged me to get Frankie done for my own sake. And I think of the friend who actually went with me to get him done!

I absolutely LOVE Frankie. As stupid and nonsensical as it sounds, he’s encouraged me to keep going, to keep being better. He’s helped me love my body through my recovery from bulimia nervosa, and he’s helped shift my perspective from seeing my body as something dispensable to destroy to now viewing it as a canvas for future art!

I’m beyond grateful to the two artists who helped bring Frankie to life. And I hope the story of how I got my little wolf brightened your day at least the slightest bit! Now go out there and celebrate your own wins!!

Comment below with your own first tattoo stories, I’d love to hear them!

Let’s be brave,

Alexandra and Frankie