I’M TWENTY!!!!

Hey there and welcome back to Life, Unfiltered!

Happy birthday, me! I’m finally out of my teens and jumping right into my twenties!

I genuinely can’t believe it. I’m now a twenty-year-old woman. EWW!

It’s honestly a bit scary to see my age get more and more serious, because we all know that I’m just a little kid stuck inside a big body… Aren’t all adults, though?

It’s totally okay, though, because I think I’m doing half decent at this whole “Adulting” thing. I’m in school, I’m volunteering at a hospital, I’m preparing my application for paramedic school, all while maintaining my health and happiness!

Sometimes, I look in the mirror and think, “Who is she?”

It’s bittersweet, but I get happier every time I realize that I can’t recognize myself. It means I’m learning from my experiences and growing as a person. Frankly, the further I get from every past version of myself, the prouder I am to be this person that I am becoming.

I can’t believe I’m twenty. I’ve said it so many times, but I NEVER intended on making it this far. Each year that passes is both a surprise and a privilege, and one that I hope to stop taking for granted.

Being alive at this exact moment is crazy. It’s insane to me how fragile it all is. As BoJack Horseman says in the episode, Free Churro, during his eulogy:

“Any one of us could get run over by a SnapChatting teen at any moment. And you think knowing that would make us more adventurous, and kind, and forgiving. But it makes us small, and stupid, and petty.”

I know that all of this could be taken away at any moment, and yet, I keep wasting time hurting myself, trying to achieve a ridiculous goal weight, mourning what could have been.

Being alive for two decades already is huge. So... why do I keep wasting that? 

Why aren’t I taking advantage of the opportunities I’m given each time I wake up to a new day?

I think that's what I want to change about this next year.

Cut the shit. Enjoy each day I'm given. Take chances. Make changes. Live.

Hello, twenty. I'm ready for you.

Love always,

Alexandra